I have come to an impasse it seems. With only one class remaining to achieve my certification, one summer of hustling until I am on a more financially rewarding contract, and only two more months until the kids begin a regularly scheduled schooling, which, no doubt will improve their outlooks on life and general behavior, I find myself hitting a wall.
I am struggling to get my homework done on time in my programming class. More importantly, I find myself having little interest in doing the work anymore. I have been going to school while working full time since the Fall of 2018, and it would appear that I have reached my limit. While interested in the material, I do not care about finishing all of the material. Toss in some allergies and having the kids nearly every moment that I have to myself and that’s it. There goes any motivation that I may have started the day with.
Additionally, I need to put in a requisition request for my new position. This is the first time that I have ever had to put a budget together for a job and I must say that I have trouble even beginning to figure out what I need to do. There is so much leftover stuff from the previous instructor, but I cannot begin to guess what works and what does not work at this point. And alas, but the janitorial staff has been using the classroom as a catchall throughout this entire school year too, so I can’t even begin to get to the stuff to assess what I have or may need.
Basically, it’s a lot of work to be done, but I’m looking forward to the job coming up.
Of late I’ve wanted to spend more and more time on my porch. It’s really nice to have a porch after all of these years living in an apartment building. I’ve taken to using watercolors while I’m out there as I have a small tree line that I am really excited about. This has gotten me into doing small watercolors when I take the kids to the playground and such as well. It’s a good thing, I think. The portable A Gallo Colors kit has proven to be just the ticket for that.
But even granting myself tiny reprieves, I still find myself having so much trouble with my kids. Today, I spent 30-45 minutes arguing with my daughter trying to get her into her car seat after we went to the grocery store. I was already frustrated because I canceled having someone come to watch the kids so that I could go in to work and put together my requisition requests, but the timeline was destroyed from the get go today.
I just can’t seem to keep all three of us happy at once. It is such a struggle. I know that we’ll hit our stride at some point but it seems so very far away right now. Send good thoughts.