I had every intention of getting a bit more done today than it seems I have so far, and yet, I’ve completed quite a bit. Will this feeling ever escape me? Expectations are the bane of human existence I think.
Alas, I was going to finish up a physics lab that I’ve been needing to do after my therapy appointment today, but I found myself buried in WordPress attempting to find my way around again. My friend set this site up for me months ago and this is the first I’ve really dove in to attempt to do anything. Shame on me?
But anyway, the meat.
Chess
Last night I played chess with my friend Nick in the park. It was a good game. We had quite the dance upon my back line as I had taken his key big pieces but he was in position to promote to possibly promote to queen and create some real trouble for me if I were to blunder. I did, but it was a good game. It was the first game that I ever really recall using the King in a tactical position rather than reacting to other players’ moves in terms of retreat.
It is an apropos metaphor for where I currently stand in my life. I have some big events coming up here shortly which will dramatically alter the course of my next 12 to 14 years. I am not altogether certain that I am ready for it, but I feel that it is time to stretch out the legs on the old king and go for it.
What Does this Mean Creatively?
It must mean something. I’ve found, over the course of the last few weeks, that I have a renewed vigor in creating, but that I am also less concerned with my productivity and more concerned with the act of making. I have long wanted to work on things for people. I feel my calling is to spread some joy through creation, but money and career has often stood in the way of that calling.
But now I am finding that a morning creating with my daughter, or a quick jot in a sketchbook can be equally as fulfilling as a painting that I spend forty hours a week on. I’ve also spent a lot of my life worrying that I had become a person whose practice is merely a hobby, but I feel less inclined to worry about that now. I make every day, sometimes a lot, and sometimes a very little.
The events in my life have dictated a different sort of living which would obviously lead to different ways of creating. I am starting this site up not as a continuation of what I was once doing, but as a replacement, which is more interested in what I am now doing. It is now after all.
So, if you’ve missed me meandering or wondered what I am working on and thinking about, I’d encourage you to drop on back. If these things are of no consequence to you, that is okay too. Take care, and goodbye for now.